The personal grief ...

The personal grief of those who mourn the death of their loved ones is addressed very specifically by centuries-long Jewish laws, customs and traditions. Since such events occur rarely in a lifetime, many Jews are either unaware of, or are distant from, such matters, and tend to interpret them in accordance with their own feelings. The delicacy of these issues requires the interpretation of and counseling by a rabbi. Also, personal practices of Jews differ, depending on national origin, ranging from the most liberal to very traditional, and each places a different emphasis on how to respond. The enclosed outline offers a general overview of some of these practices.

1. The deceased should not to be left alone. Traditional families will want to arrange for a "shomer" who is someone who remains with the deceased while reciting verses from the Book of Psalms until the onset of the funeral. The act is called "Shmirah."

2. There should be no undue delays in arranging the funeral. However, the following factors often make it difficult:

Coroner. Jewish Law does permit delays under these conditions, but many families have emotional feelings about hurrying up the process.

Waiting for relatives from out of town (but not too long -- another emotional decision.)

Technically, to get an acceptable person to deliver the eulogy, but this is often the easiest problem to resolve. Legal matters such as death certificate, permits, etc. Families have a tendency not to understand the full scope of these problems.

Legal matters such as death certificate, permits, etc. Families have a tendency not to understand the full scope of these problems.

3. Tachrichin. These are burial shrouds, used by traditional families, and consist of a trouser-like lower garment, an inner blouse, an outer garment and a wrapping sheet. Additionally, men wear a yarmulke and a tallit that has been cut to render it ritually unusable, while ladies wear a bonnet-like head covering and a face veil.

4. Tahara. Ritual washing and preparation of the deceased. Women perform it for ladies, men for men, in accordance with a prescribed religious ritual.

5. Chevra Kaddisha is the name for the synagogue-based Burial Society, a group of volunteers from each congregation (not to be confused by the mortuary of the same name). These volunteers assist the family in many ways, including making burial arrangements and acting as casket bearers.

6. Earth from Israel. A small envelope is placed in the casket under the pillow as a symbol of spiritual return to the Holy Land.

7. Kaddish. The memory of the deceased is honored through recitation of this prayer that praises God, not mourns the dead. It is said at graveside as well as during the period of mourning as defined below. Traditionalists allow only men, while in other disciplines, women may also recite these words. In some instances, when no one from the family will or can say the Kaddish, others are appointed, such as rabbis, other pious people, or persons at charitable institutions who received donations.